Will Hope be Shattered by Loss?

By: Annette Thomas

I can’t be with her anymore;

As a friend, lover, or otherwise

It is not worth my sanity and heart.

It hurts each time she walks away.

The first time, I completely gave

Her my soul, everything I had;

And she walked away, leaving

Me broken and trampled on.

The second time, we agreed only

To friendship. Once more, I gave

It all that I had; opening myself

Up yet again, only to have her leave.

And this third time, she spoke of

Making it work together and to

Speak if I had concerns or was

Worried about something.

At first, I was taken to the

Depths of doubt. I questioned

What could go wrong and all

That was good in the relationship.

But still, I held onto hope.

Hope for a life together.

Hope for happiness again.

Hope for love’s resurrection.

She claimed I was trying too

Hard. Is that not what people

Do in relationships? Try and

Strive to give it your best shot.

Well, you know the drill.

She left, asking me to stop

Calling and “enjoy” my day.

What the hell?

“I’m over it,” I said, but

It still hurts as I had given

Myself to her completely,

Only to have her vanish.

Despite it all, I was

Hopeful. I gave it my all.

I tried with everything in me.

Will hope be shattered by loss?

Yesterday, when I was at Unity of Fort Collins (after meeting with the folks at Heart Talks), I found my answer. It was sitting on the shelf of freebies in the Community Corner. There was a blue bracelet calling to me. It had one single word on it: Hope. There is love out there for me (so everyone says). Will I find it? Will I have to wait a year and a half to go out on another date? I don't know, but I do know this: I will hope. My hope will not be shattered by loss. So, I'm taking this to my blog and I will share my story with you as a confessional poet. I simply ask that you, too, hope. Don't let anyone take that from you. Long live hope!